WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU

The modern job-hunt is a perilous and rigorous task, physically and emotionally taxing you to your limits across weeks, if not months. Before jumping headfirst into an uncertain job market, you need to know the dangers you're likely to face... Introducing WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU , a handwritten simulator meant to train and educate the average animal on what to expect from such a grim task! After completing the simulator, rest assured that you'll have the ability, experience and skills needed to weather even the driest of spells, and tackle any number of copy/paste rejection emails! Inside you'll find: A compact zine-sized simulator, playable by up to one (1) animal. A fully customizable paper-doll character creator, so you can represent yourself authentically! An intricate, interlocking system featuring two dice tables, instructions for interpreting a Magic "8" Ball, a six-segment clock and a three-phase tracker meant to accurately and realistically represent the fairness, care and equity with which job applications are received and processed! My vibrator! Just a drawing though, I'm using it Cat ears! [EXPERIMENTAL] An achievement system, to reward use with new unlockable palettes, art and even game modes! What are you waiting for? The time'll pass regardless :3 CONTENT WARNINGS: suicidal ideation, capitalism/doomerism, internalized transphobia/ableism, severe depression, NSFW themes