MY GREATEST HITS: Tales from a Tired Artifact

THE PITCH You're a sentient magic item stuck in a pencil. You're tired. You've been doing this forever. Every wielder thinks they're the protagonist of some grand adventure. They're wrong. You are. They're just... visiting. Briefly. Until they make a terrible decision and die. Then someone else picks you up and the whole thing starts over. My Greatest Hits is a solo journaling RPG about climbing from being wielded by absolute nobodies to being held by actual legends. It's basically a career ladder, except the ladder is made of corpses and poor life choices. The game lasts 5-10 wielders. Some earn paragraphs. Some earn "yikes" and a shrug. WHAT YOU NEED One hexagonal pencil (this is you now, sorry) One notebook or journal (your memoir of poor decisions) That's literally it HOW IT WORKS Each adventure features one wielder. You watch them, narrate their choices, and decide when to meddle. When you try to influence them toward YOUR goal, you roll the pencil: 5-6: They do what you want (+1 Notoriety - you're getting famous!) 3-4: They try, but it goes sideways (no credit, adventure continues) 1-2: They ignore you completely (+1 Corruption - this is YOUR fault) Win condition: Reach Legendary (Tier 6) before hitting 6 Corruption Loss condition: Hit 6 Corruption first (you transform into something worse) WHAT THIS GAME IS ABOUT Risk and reward - Only full success pays off. Partial results are a trap. Failure hurts. Misjudgment, not malice - You corrupt when you misread the moment and push wrong Choice - Stay silent and safe, or meddle and risk it all Wielders who think they're the protagonist (they're not) Climbing through increasingly questionable decisions Having complicated feelings about the people you consume Dark comedy that doesn't undercut real tragedy The core tension: Can you manipulate enough people successfully before you misjudge six times? WHAT THIS GAME IS NOT Let's be clear upfront: This is not a power fantasy. You are powerful, but you're also stuck in a pencil watching people die because of you. That's not power. That's a curse. This is not a tactical game. There are no builds, no optimal strategies, no "correct" way to play. You roll a d6 and write about what happens. This is not about saving people. You will get wielders killed. That's the point. You're trying to climb a ladder made of bodies. The tragedy is that you care anyway. This IS about: Influence, memory, complicity, and what it costs to be legendary. FEATURES Complete solo experience - No GM needed, just you and your cursed pencil Quick setup - Number a pencil, answer 4 questions, start playing Flexible play length - 5-10 wielders per campaign (1-3 hours total) Scalable depth - Write novels for some wielders, one sentence for others Clear mechanics - Simple roll system with meaningful choices Character sheet & journal templates included Full example adventure (featuring Pella the mushroom picker) Comprehensive writing tips for voice, tone, and pacing 18-page PDF with original art CONTENT NOTES This game includes: Dark humor about death and mortality Wielders dying in various ways (tragic, absurd, heroic, pathetic) Themes of manipulation and moral compromise The weight of remembering everyone you've harmed Tone: Dark comedy that takes tragedy seriously. You can be funny AND sad about it. If you're looking for a game where you play a heroic sword saving the kingdom, this isn't it. If you want to explore what it means to climb toward legend while counting your failures, welcome.