Oh Christ! I’ve Only Gone and Got Stuck in a Legally Distinct Dinosaur Park

After six tedious months on the dole, you are fed-up. Fed up with the boredom and fed up with being skint. You are fed up with employers ghosting you and fed up with ‘doing-the-dance’ during interviews. You are badly overdrawn and desperate. You apply for a low-paying, entry-level position at a new theme park opening in the countryside that promises, ‘working outdoors’ and ‘onsite accommodation’. What have you got to lose? You are surprised to hear back almost immediately, and before you know it, you are sat on a chartered bus along with other bedraggled looking misfits, set to start your first day working at Prehistoric Park. Upon arrival you are bustled through I.D checks and contract signings without a moment to read the small-print. You are suited and booted and given a vague idea that you will be doing some sort of janitorial role in the park before being left alone to your duties. DETAILS: 1 player YOU WILL NEED: A 6-sided die Coin Pencil/Pen HOW TO PLAY: Players begin by rolling a die to decide character stats: GUMPTION, DUTY, TOLERANCE, RESTRAINT, CRAIC Every scene, players must pass a skill check to proceed. Players must meet the minimum skill value stated. Roll a die to receive a “chance” value that gets added to your character stats to determine success. (Skill Check = Stat + Chance) After a failed skill check, the player must toss a coin to decide the cost of a retry: Heads = Free retry Tails = Lose 1 heart to retry. Should the player lose 3 hearts, it's game over. DEV MESSAGE: This game is a meditation on my lengthy period of unemployment last year, boredom, and the dangers of late-stage capitalism. I am fully aware that parts of the writing read like ramblings of a mad man and whilst that might be true, the chaotic humour I've put into this was very satisfying to write. It's silly and angry and nowhere near as dark as Squid Game or the real-life dystopian greed fuelled gameshows that have spawned in it's wake - all of which I drew inspiration from. The more astute players may discover subtle references to Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park. This one goes out to my fellow game devs, or anyone for that matter who are struggling to find work and could use a laugh.